A Lifetime Ago (And More)
by NinjaTarantula
Summary: Merlin has lived a thousand lives since Arthur died the first time, but he can never quite remember them. One thing he does remember is that he's supposed to be waiting for someone, someone blonde. Someone with the nickname clotpole. Then he meets a familiar stranger and realises how painfully unaware of the Prince's identity he is. T for early Character Death. Will become Merthur.
1. The Beginning

**So I decided, after many ideas, to actually write a reincarnation fic. So here's this. Ta-da!**

**I'm sorry about the title I can't name things.**

**The story actually starts properly in the next chapter I promise.**

**Also I'm not certain about the ending so sorry about that, but I can't think of anything else.**

**As always, constructive criticism is welcomed.**

**The first date is King Arthur's death year according to Wikipedia so that's not exactly the most helpful.**

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539 A.D., Arthur Pendragon dies for the first time.

710 A.D., Merlin is reincarnated. Not much happens. Arthur doesn't make an obvious appearance. Merlin still has some kind of hope, passed onto him by his past lives that one day, someone will be back.

1066 A.D., A reincarnated Merlin fights at the battle of Hastings. For a moment, he thinks he saw the person he's been waiting for. Will, his best friend dies in his arms that day. He can't help but feel déjà-vu.

1916, Merlin fights in World War One. He's nineteen. He dies soon after Will this time.

1941. Merlin fights in World War Two. He fights for his fallen friend and a man he can't quite remember the name of with blonde hair.

There are many lives in between these but Merlin can't remember them at all.

15 July 1993, Merlin is born to the happy couple Hunith and Balinor in a little Irish town called Ealdor. They name him soon after they witness their week old son summoning his bottle with a flash of golden eyes. They agree to keep his gift a secret. In the same town a few houses over, a one year old toddles over to his mother and asks for a friend. Merlin and the one year old meet a few weeks later. They play together and become best friends growing up. The one year olds name is Will.

They grow up playing knights and dragons and other such games as small children are wont to do. They both feel a small sense that they've done this before. They each brush it off and don't mention it. Balinor is offered a better job in America. He accepts, promising to visit soon. He keeps his promise and sends Merlin gifts from the cities every year on his birthday. He visits every few months, eventually moving back home because America just wasn't close enough. He arrives home on Merlin's eighth birthday. Somewhere in the news, Merlin hears something about Queen Ygraine's death and he sees a young boy, just older than him, clinging to his father's trousers at the funeral. He feels a stab of recognition at the young boy's blonde hair and blue eyes but can't quite place it. He forgets about the boy soon after. When Merlin reaches puberty he grows. All of a sudden he's not chubby cherubic Merlin. He's got seriously pointed cheekbones and he's _tall_. Soon after, he shares his first everything with Will. They break up after a few years. They stay friends; right up until Will dies at 21. This time it's cancer. Merlin spent hours at Will's bedside in the hospital, staying as close as he could, while he still could. He hears Will mutter that he's scared and takes his hand. He is still holding Will's hand when the doctors call it.

All through the funeral it rains and he doesn't feel anything. There are people offering their condolences to 'the boyfriend of the deceased' and he just can't bring himself to correct them. He returns home after the funeral to his and Will's flat and sees the cup Will left out on the side that Merlin didn't bother to clean up whenever he was home from the hospital. The smashing sound the mug makes echoes around the room and Merlin slides to the floor, tears blurring his vision. Through his tears, his eyes flash golden and the mug begins to repair itself. If Will was here he'd probably pull Merlin up, put him on the sofa and make him tea, wrapping a blanket snugly round his shoulders while he was sat waited for Merlin to tell him what was wrong. Merlin pulls himself upright using the front door and surveys the room, wiping at his face. It takes him all afternoon to pack Will's things up and the flat feels so much emptier without DVD's and clothes strewn about the place.

Merlin doesn't sleep that night. Or the night after. Or the one after that. He doesn't sleep for about a week before his mother and father call, and take him home. He finally sleeps that night. The day after, arrangements are made for Will's things to be sent to his parent's house and Merlin is left with his final gift from Will. A scrapbook of their memories. Will probably thought it was horribly cliché but Merlin's just glad that he has something to remember him by. A few days later, Merlin is on the train to London. He can't stand it in his home-town anymore. Not for a while at least. So he's going to live with his Uncle Gauis who runs a herbal shop. Merlin remembers him. He was the one who helped to teach Merlin how to control his magic and gifted him with books filled with spells and legends. The flat in Ealdor is no longer his and all of his possessions are in a duffel bag at his feet. He has fished out the photo album and sits with it on his lap, open at a picture of the two of them on holiday. They're smiling. Merlin feels like curling up and crying all over again. He falls asleep on the train, waking up as it jolts into the station. He rubs his eyes quickly and places the book on his lap gently into the bag at his feet, folding his clothes over it to keep it safe. He dismounts the train and looks around, wide-eyed. This place is packed and it's like nowhere he's ever been. All of a sudden he feels a bout of utter loneliness swamp over him. He glances around quickly and spots the exit, all but running towards it. He gets out of the station eventually and smiles finally as he recognises a face. He runs towards the elder man, stopping just short of flinging himself into a hug. He is saved the trouble however by Gaius wrapping his arms around Merlin, letting go to smile up at him.

"You've grown quite a bit."

Merlin smiles slightly, hugging his bag to his chest. Gaius leads him to the busted up, ancient car that he's had since Merlin can remember and slides in, the engine grunting and whining before springing to life and taking them off to Gaius' little medicine shop. They pull in at Gaius' home and Merlin is shown to his room where he drops his things and goes down to help Gaius with the shop. Merlin is to work in the shop whenever Gaius is required to make a house call for whatever reason and to help tidy around the place. Gaius teaches him a few new spells and Merlin goes to bed early, exhausted but slightly happier than he'd been that morning.

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**So Will dies. Sorry about that.**

**A cookie to anyone who guesses the character that shows up in the next chapter.**


	2. A Familiar Stranger

**This chapter actually surprised me with the length.**

**Thanks for all the feedback and I'm glad to see the story favourites and follows! They're an absolutely awesome pick-me-up when I'm dreading the return to school tomorrow.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer and whatnot just in case.**

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The next morning, Merlin rolls out of bed and freezes for a moment, not understanding his surroundings. He sighs and sinks back into his mattress when he remembers, placing his hands over his eyes. The darkness soothes him and after a moment, he gets up, abandoning the warm shelter of the bed and braves the cold world outside of his bed. After getting dressed which involved much hopping around and almost falling over, Merlin wanders out into the hallway, guiding himself, still half-asleep, down the stairs. He manages to stub his toe on the armchair in the lounge and bang his hip against the kitchen table before even noticing that Gaius is sat at the table, watching him.

"Morning."

Merlin mumbles a response, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Help yourself to breakfast." Gaius gestures to the plate of toast on the table. Merlin smiles and reaches for a slice, arm knocking against a precariously balanced mug at the edge of the table. As it begins to fall, Merlin's eyes flash gold and time around the mug takes a brief vacation. A second later, the mug is righted on the table with all the liquid inside. Merlin withdraws his hand cautiously, clutching at the toast and turns to Gaius, looking slightly sheepish. Gaius gives him a stern look and sighs, walking towards the stairs.

"Do try to be more careful when you're in public?"

Merlin grins at him, wolfs down the toast and grabs his wallet and phone, leaving the shop. A cool breeze drifts across his face and Merlin pulls his threadbare jacket tighter around his shoulders. He wanders around the streets for a while, attempting to memorise the path and eventually gives up, instead settling on firmly planting Gaius' address in his mind should he need to hail a taxi if he got lost. He eventually comes across a little coffee shop and a smile flashes over his face.

The inside of the coffee shop is quite cosily decorated in Merlin's opinion, and accompanied with the smell of fresh coffee and the muffins on the counter it's practically heaven.

While waiting in the queue he catches the eye of a pretty dark-skinned girl stood by the counter. He flashes her a smile and she returns it, all teeth and happiness. Merlin finally gets to the front of the queue and, disregarding the strange names for everything that were written on the board above the baristas head, simply asks for a regular coffee to go with milk. The girl behind the counter looks relieved that he hadn't ordered a venti latte with soy milk and extra cream or whatever the guy before him in the queue had ordered. Unsurprisingly, his drink didn't take long and, nabbing some packets of sugar and a stirring stick, Merlin makes his way to the nearest available seat. However on the way to his seat, his path is blocks suddenly by a small whirl of dark hair. He crashes into the whirl and feels a slight burning at his abdomen.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry! Are you alright? Here," the owner of the voice appears to be shoving napkins into his hand. For a moment he wonders what they were for but then common sense wins over and he presses them against his ruined shirt. He feel himself be guided to the chair he'd been aiming for prior to dousing himself with coffee and looks up to see a nervous face with adorable brown peering back at him.

"Are you alright?"

Merlin nods, placing her as the girl he'd smiled to in the line. "Are_ you _alright though? Did I get any on you?"

"Oh, no I'm fine. Missed me."

Merlin smiles as he ushers her gently into the chair opposite him and drops the coffee soaked napkins onto the table.

The girl immediately begins fussing again. "God I've totally ruined your shirt, I'm really sorry, I should've been looking where I was going..."

"_It's fine_. Really. I always carry a spare around anyway. There was one occasion with a slippery floor, a flight of stairs and a precariously balanced trifle at a friends house once. I learned my lesson then."

This seems to reassure the girl and she giggles at his story. "I suppose. Sorry again though."

"It's fine."

She smiles at him then tilts her head slightly, smile fading into a frown.

"I… Sorry, have we met? Before, I mean."

"Mmm? Oh. No, I've just got one of those faces."

"Right. It's just… You seem familiar." She shakes her head, as if trying to clear it. "I'm Guinevere, but most people call me Gwen."

Merlin felt that this was an important revelation that he should definitely be more happy about but all he says is; "Gwen? Nice name. I'm Merlin." He held out his hand to her.

She takes it, giving him a Look that definitely deserves the mentally capitalised 'L' and appears to convey that she thinks he's pulling her leg. "Really? I mean not that it's not a nice name, I just… Really? Merlin?"

"Yeah. My mum had a sense of humour apparently"

"Oh no, no. I think it's a lovely name. It's odd but-"  
"It's fine. Really. I've heard it all."

A smile. "It could've been worse."

"Mmm. And hey, Merlin and Guinevere. Like the legends," he says, an unexplained tug somewhere in his heart.

She laughs, he raises an eyebrow.

"Sorry, it's just. We, my friends and I, well… Morgana and Arthur."

Time seems to freeze for a moment as 'Arthur' leaves her mouth. He knows for a fact it's not actually his fault this time and that the fact that time seems to be freezing is simply a side-effect, though he can't tell why a simple name brought that about.

He brushed off the sensation with; "I don't suppose there's a Lancelot too?"

She blushes and his eyebrows shoot up another few inches.

"Oh God really?"

"Yep."

"And-"

"And a Gwaine, and a Percival. Though no Merlin yet. Unless you'd like to meet them?"

"Um. Might be a bit odd."

"Not at all. I was just about to meet up with Morgana. You could stay and meet her. You know, if you wanted to."

"No, yeah. That'd… That sounds fun."

She grins, a properly happy smile. "Great."

A tall, pale, dark-haired woman struts in a few moments later and Merlin feels like a giant bag of bricks just fell on him from the sky because _that's the freaking half-sister of the Prince! _He turns to Gwen, mouth opening to point this out to Gwen but he's cut off by her waving to the bloody _Lady Morgana_ with such a smile on her face that he honestly can't remember why he's supposed to be mad at her. A quick glance down reassures him that it's because the shirt he was wearing before he'd changed quickly in the loos _was_ a really nice shirt, but that's life he supposes and _oh my god she's walking this way what the hell-_

"Hello Guinevere. And who's this?" Morgana hugs Gwen before turning to look critically at Merlin.

Merlin feels like falling off his chair into a huge dark pit at that moment because Gwen is introducing him and Morgana has a look in her eyes which terrifies him and _when exactly did she become Morgana in his head-_

"Merlin? Like _the_ Merlin? Seriously?" Her voice is tinged with laughter.

"Yeah."

"You'll bloody fit right in."

"Is the second-in-line to the crown allowed to curse?"

"If not then there's no bloody point to it."

Merlin smiles and Morgana smiles back and takes the seat between him and Gwen. Merlin shoots an incredulous look at Gwen, his eyebrows half-way up his forehead and Gwen smiles apologetically and shrugs. He points at her admonishingly and turns to see Morgana watching him thoughtfully, as if she's seen him somewhere before. All of a sudden the look stops and she has such a look of clear understanding on her face that Merlin's fear can only be rivalled by that when a second later her expression switches to a 'the cat that caught the cream' look.

" So, _Merlin_. What do you do for a living?"

"I, err... I used to be a tour guide for this Arthurian legends museum."

"Wait seriously? A name like yours and you chose Arthurian legends as a career?"

He nods, smiling sheepishly.

"Well you're either the biggest idiot or the biggest genius I've ever met."

"I used to wear a wizards hat when I did the kids tours."

"My God."  
Gwen takes this opportunity to slip to the bathroom giving Merlin the thumbs up as he makes a face that screams 'please don't leave me oh god I'm going to get sent to the Tower of London come back'. At least that's what he was aiming for. Gwen is either painfully oblivious to this or a complete sadist because she leaves anyway.

Merlin looks around the shop, mainly to avoid any awkward situations with _the bloody Lady Morgana_ and notices that no-one is looking at them. Normally that wouldn't be odd but hell, to say Morgana was 'pretty well known' would be an understatement. When she walked in there were definitely heads turning but then… People were just going about their business. Morgana must have noticed his internal puzzling because she laughs lightly and meets his gaze.

"Have you never seen this kind of spell before?"

Merlin freezes, eyes fixed on hers and begins internally freaking out. After a few seconds he realises that his mouth is gaping and he looks like a fish so he shuts it. Morgana laughs.

"You… you know about," he lowers his voice, "magic?"

Morgana laughs again, looking pityingly at Merlin.

"Not so much 'know' as 'can do'."

"Oh."

Morgana smiles gently at him. "I've heard about you though. Well… not heard about. But you were in a dream of mine. I'm a Seer."

Merlin nods, recalling his training with Gaius. "So you have dreams about the future?"

Morgana nods. "And you're a part of it. So you're stuck with us."

Merlin smiles. "Well, as long as the rest of you are as nice as you and Gwen it can't be terrible."

"What can't be terrible?" Gwen asks, re-taking her seat at the table.

"Merlin here was just agreeing to meet up with the boys and us tonight, weren't you Merlin?" Morgana turns to him, an encouraging smile on her face.

"Really? That's great! You can meet Gwaine and Lance…" Gwen trails off after mentioning Lance with a sort of dreamy look on her face that he knows all too well.

He nods. "Sounds fun. Where are we going?"

"Oh there's this bar… It's pretty private so there won't be a stupid amount of people there."

The girls and Merlin sit and chat for a while and Merlin feels relaxed finally, like he's with friends. He discovers that they both like the Avengers due to him quoting and both of them looking at him for a second and then laughing. They all like BBC's adaption of Sherlock and Doctor Who, the latter sparking a debate on the best Doctor.

"Yeah but Matt Smith is adorable!" Gwen blurts.  
"He may be adorable but Chris' Doctor was the sassiest."

"David Tennant for sexiest definitely," Merlin throws out casually, catching himself a moment after because can you even say that kind of thing infront of the second-in-line to the throne? There's a beat of silence and the girls burst out laughing.

"Well, I suppose you do have a point there. But then Chris' leather jacket."

"Matt's adorability though."

"Is that even a word?" Merlin asks.

Gwen shrugs. "Is now."

They have long discussions about their favourite episodes, (Gwen liked 'Vampires of Venice' because "It was really romantic of the Doctor to take them to Venice!". Morgana's favourite was 'The Unquiet Dead' because "A, Charles Dickens, B, Ghosts, C, Charles Dickens _and_ Ghosts and D, Eve Myles so there." Merlin had said that his favourite was 'Doomsday' and got strange looks off both of them before mentioning that it was the only one he'd managed to convince Will to watch with him. Then he'd explained about Will and they'd both hugged him.) before Morgana clapped her hands and announced that they should all go home to get ready because they were meeting the boys in about an hour. Gwen had told him they were meeting at Excalibur and then at the lost look on his face, had told him to take a cab to the address she'd scribbled on his palm and wait there for her.

Merlin had called in home to change and tell Gaius where he was going and had quickly exited the shop when Gaius had begun to warn him about the dangers of mixing alcohol with his magic.

The place he was told to meet Gwen at looked rather intimidating with the muscular bouncers out front. Merlin had given one of them a shy smile and the bouncer had smiled back though so that was one thing. Gwen showed up a few minutes after Merlin, in a red dress with matching pumps that made her look amazing. Merlin felt severely out of place with his red scarf and black jacket that used to be Will's that he'd thrown on in haste. Gwen practically jumped on him when she saw him, hugging him with such ferocity he honestly couldn't breathe at one point. She released him and then tugged him closer to the doors, just as a car pulls up behind them and Morgana steps out and _wow._ Dressed in a red flowing dress with her hair pulled back, she actually looks like a Princess from the fairy-tales. She and Gwen hug and she greets Merlin with a smile and a surprisingly delicate hug for someone who not just a few minutes ago was having a rather heated debate with him over the best Doctor, a debate which invoked much cussing from each side.

They enter the club, the bouncer Merlin smiled at before wishing them a good evening. The place looks very sophisticated with just a touch of normal clubs that Merlin's been to. It's odd. There are a few waiters bustling around and the whole place looks like someone smashed a bunch of different styles of bars together and it worked.

Morgana is chatting to Gwen about something but Merlin's attention is on a blonde man yelling at a waiter and the poor lad looks absolutely terrified so, after a short while of the blonde man complaining about incompetent waiters who can't remember drinks orders, of course Merlin steps in.

"Look, he's clearly sorry about getting your drink mixed up but it can't be helped. Maybe you should leave him alone, my friend.

He receives slightly taken aback look, blue eyes widened in surprise which quickly morphs into indignation. "Do I know you?"

"No, I'm-"

"So I don't know you. And yet you called me friend."

At this point Morgana and Gwen are both watching him, Gwen with a hint of trepidation and Morgana with a pleasantly surprised look. "That was my mistake," Merlin says to the blonde man.

"Yes, I think so."

"I'd never have a friend who could be such an arse."

There's silence for all of three seconds and then Morgana bursts out laughing, clinging to Gwen who is attempting to gesture to Merlin to shut up over the prats shoulder.

The prat raises an eyebrow. "Or I one who could be so stupid."

Merlin glares at him and opens his mouth for another retort but is cut short by Morgana stepping in.

"Ah dearest brother of mine. I see you've met Merlin."

Merlin's glare drops as he stares at Morgana and back up at the blonde prat when it finally hits him. _He's just called the future King of England an arse._ He's certain that's a Tower Of London punishable offence and he really hopes that they don't do the whole hung, drawn and quartered thing anymore.

The pra- _Arthur_ raises his eyebrows at Merlin and looks disbelieving. "Merlin. Really?"

Merlin nods, voice still refusing to do anything that might get him into even more trouble.

Morgana grins at both of them. "He's the final piece in our Arthurian legend, so play nice. He might just become your Court Sorcerer one day." She sends a smile at Merlin over Arthur's shoulder as he splutters.

Gwen shoots him an apologetic look and allows herself to be dragged off by Morgana and Merlin is left alone with the sodding Prince.

"So you're Merlin."

"Y-"

Arthur interrupts him. "Well my she-witch of a sister likes you so I can only assume she's fed you lies about me that go somewhere along the lines of arsehole, yes?"

"N-"

"Excellent. Well this has been a lovely meeting."

"Not-"

"Seeing as you're now apparently one of Morgana's best friends for insulting me like that, we're probably going to start seeing a lot more of each other. So let's lay out some ground rules."

"Ok-"

"Number one, don't ever talk to me like that again. Number two, don't try to be my friend. It's not going to work. Num-"

"Jesus Christ you really are an utter twat aren't you."

"I beg your-"

"You don't have to worry about me trying to be friends with you. If I ever even have the slightest feeling that I'd like to actually talk to you, I'll jump off a cliff." He turns to leave, then whirls back to Arthur. "And for the record, Morgana didn't tell me anything about you being an arse, but I've kind of formed that opinion of you by myself."

He storms off, stopping at the bar to buy a drink and then heading to a dark corner where he can hide without any spells. A few moments later he is calm enough to see the prat talking to his friends with a look on his face that can only be described as indignant. Merlin carefully observes the rest of the room, once again realising that no-one's really looking at Arthur. There are obviously people that see him but they don't swarm him and there are absolutely no camera phone pictures being taken. He remembers something about a paparazzi deal on the news at some point, something about nothing with Arthur in in the news until he's 25 or if it's a public unveiling of some sort. He can't remember the specifics but this seems much bigger than some little deal. He thinks back on Morgana's words in the coffee shop and his eyes flicker around the room again, this time looking for someone hidden but still observing Arthur. After a few moments, he sees a man dressed in typical bodyguard uniform. He looks away quickly but not before noting the definitely magic aura the man gave off. He was pretty sure in Gaius' lessons there had been something about the King not trusting magic apart from a very small, heavily screened, amount of sorcerers that were employed by him. It only made sense that Arthur would have a magical bodyguard as well as a general one.

He turns his gaze back to Arthur, only to see bright blue eyes fixed on his own. For a few moments they simply watch

each other, each reluctant to look away until someone passes between them and Merlin blinks, then stars down resolutely into his drink. A few minutes later, he feels the shift of someone sitting beside him and turns his head slightly, then groans quietly and closes his eyes.  
"You're not going to throw me in the Tower Of London right?" Merlin asks, opening one eye to watch Arthur's expression.

A brief smile darts across his face and Merlin relaxes slightly as Arthur shakes his head.

"No. Morgana wouldn't let me for starters."

"Oh?"

"She appears to be absolutely determined that you become part of our little group."

"Group?"

"The one where we're all named after characters in Arthurian legend."

"That group."

There's silence for a few minutes and then Arthur turns to him.

"I didn't mean to offend you."

Merlin raises an eyebrow and Arthur smiles slightly.

"Okay, yes I did. But I really don't want you thinking I'm an arse. Mainly because Morgana does that enough and you seem like quite a likeable bloke. Even if your ears are ridiculously large."

Merlin scoffs. "You really know how to apologise."

"I like to think so."

Merlin laughs quietly. "Cabbage-head."

"What?"

"Nothing, buy me a drink and I'll forget all about you being a prat."

Arthur frowns and opens his mouth, appears to reconsider and then nods.  
"Alright, fine. As long as you promise not to tell Morgana. She'll hold it over my head forever."

Merlin laughs and Arthur stands, waiting for him. They make their way to the bar and Arthur buys him the drink, then pulls him back over to talk to the guys he was with before. Merlin is introduced to everyone and it turns out they were all pretty amused by him standing up to Arthur. Before he knows it, Gwaine has an arm slung round his shoulder as Elyan is telling them all some story from when they were younger and Merlin feels like he's home. Properly home.

They stay in the club until the sky is beginning to lighten and Merlin swears they weren't even there for that long and as they're all leaving he's given phone numbers and being told that they're all hanging out at Morgana's penthouse for a movie night and he's _definitely_ going according to Morgana.

He arrives home a little past 5 in the morning and Gaius gives him a disapproving look the next morning. Merlin doesn't mind because hey, he can blame it on the Prince and he still can't believe that happened. Some time the next day he remembers his thought track before Arthur bought him the drink and asks Gaius about it. Gaius sighs and recounts the story of the death of Queen Ygraine and a deal with the press. But the extra magic component is a precaution lest someone with a grudge find either Morgana or Arthur. Merlin is once again warned about the importance of keeping his magic a secret and is enrolled in helping to restock the shelves in the shop for most of the day.

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**Okay I may have cheated with the whole 'guess who's in the next chapter thing but this was originally going to be much shorter and then I couldn't stop writing and it felt weird to just cut it off before the club bit.**

**So cookies for all! And constructive criticism is always welcome. It's nice for people to tell you _why_ they think you suck.**


	3. Movie Night (AKA Merlin's an LotR fan)

**Allow me to just blow the dust of this story by starting with apologies. I have not updated in around two weeks and I feel like an utterly terrible person for it. I have no delusions that this chapter will make up for it as it was originally intended to be filler and the plot that wormed it's way in at the end is purely due to sympathy of the fact that you've waited a ridiculously long time.**

**There was the return to school, and then my terrible crushing case of writer's block which usually makes me feel terrible and want to punch things so I turned that around and punched the writer's block in the face instead and conquered it by simply writing until it sounded like words again.**

**I'd better cut this off before the author's note becomes longer than the actual chapter and will leave you to enjoy this installation in peace with a quote from my beta for this fic:**

**"Omg that's so good merlin bby u poor thing"**

**(I think she is far too kind to my stories to be quite honest and the last bit will make sense at the end. Also I'm sorry)**

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The movie night at Morgana's turns out to be a Lord of the Rings movie marathon at Morgana's.

They'd all voted for a film when they arrived at the flat (which to be frank, calling it a flat was like saying that London was quite big or that the ocean was a little bit wet) and Morgana had shoved champagne in their hands. Apparently the film night had been slightly amended to include "welcoming-Merlin-into-the-group night". Arthur had smiled at him which wasn't surprising but when Morgana had dashed out of the room to get the wine she'd apparently been saving for the completion of their own little Arthurian legend, Arthur had walked up to him and casually leant against the wall next to him. This time Morgana Isn't around to scold him for not accepting Merlin and Merlin had been chatting to Gwen (who'd immediately gone off to talk to Lance) so it was hardly as if he was alone. Arthur keeps throwing him odd looks as well. Thoughtful looks, as if he were trying to remember something, or solve a particularly difficult puzzle. Every time Merlin catches him at it however, Arthur looks away or begins talking about weather or sport. After a few minutes of this, Merlin confronts him about it and Arthur simply says; "There's something about you Merlin. I just can't put my finger on it."

Merlin frowns slightly and opens his mouth just as Morgana bursts in and demands that they all arrange themselves around the television in the next room. Arthur sits next to Merlin and due to the cramped sofa, their knees and shoulders are pressed firmly together and Gwen has been forced to, blushingly, sit on Lance's knee. Merlin can't help but notice their actions towards each other and wonder if Morgana was trying to get them to finally own up to their evidently long term mutual crush. Then the film starts and Merlin didn't have time to wonder about that anymore because he was too busy quoting the bit about the rings. He'd thought he was being quiet but as he finishes murmuring 'and in the darkness bind them' Arthur lets out a quiet chuckle that Merlin can feel through his shoulders.

Merlin flushes slightly at the revelation that he'd been heard and clamps his mouth shut. A few minutes after that though, he hears Arthur whisper, "A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to. "Merlin glances at him and sees Arthur's gaze fixed on him. Through the rest of the film, they whisper quotes to each other. When they get to the final film and the battle for Minas Tirith is flashing onscreen, Merlin's head has somehow found its way to Arthur's shoulder with Arthur's arm round his waist. It feels oddly natural. Not like they're strangers or they've only met the other night and Arthur is the Prince for god's sake but like this was perfectly normal, like they've been friends for longer. Or at least in another life or something. Merlin shakes off the feeling as the film ends and Morgana flicks on the lights. At the intrusion of light through what had previously been a really dark room, Merlin objects by screwing his eyes shut and moving away from the warmth of Arthur's side to use his hands in the battle against light. When he's managed to let his eyes adjust so that he isn't likely to be completely blinded by the light, he glances around at the rest of the group, still struggling to see properly. However Morgana who had been prepared and had apparently not been at all affected by the sudden change in light was staring at him and Arthur with a look on her face that made it seem like she'd just seen the answer to something that pleased her. It made Merlin feel worried. Once everyone could see sufficiently without walking into things they all disbanded for various reasons, amongst the most stated being the fact that it was late. Merlin is stopped by Arthur and offered a lift home, the reason given that apparently it Isn't too out of his way and he's pretty sure Gwen was going to ask Lance if he wanted a lift home anyway (she did, and he accepted looking love-struck).

Arthur's car is sleek and black. Merlin's pretty sure it was ridiculously expensive and should impress him if he'd have known anything about cars and but for the fact that the night is a lot bloody colder than it was earlier. As it is, when Arthur turns to him, rather than having an admiring expression on his face he Is huddled against the cold of the night, thin jacket clamped tight around him. Arthur immediately unlocks the door and turns the heat up. Merlin clambers in, fingertips numbed slightly, and smiles gratefully. Arthur watches him for a few moments until he nods that he's alright and then they drive off. The radio is playing some classical station and Arthur pulls a face at it and flips through the stations. The familiar strains of a piano filter through the static and a female voice begins alongside. Merlin recognises it as that Thousand Years song. Arthur's hand retreats from the tuning dial with a brief glance at Merlin. Merlin smiles and hums along quietly.

Throughout the drive they are silent, Merlin only speaking to confirm directions, but it isn't an uncomfortable silence. When Arthur stops the car outside of Gaius' shop Merlin hops out, thanking him. As he reaches the door and begins fumbling with his keys he lets a large smile onto his face. He glances back as he steps inside the shop and waves to Arthur enthusiastically, watching as Arthur's shoulders shake with laughter as he drives away.

The next morning he receives a high pitched phone call from Gwen that goes somewhere along the lines of her squealing something about Lancelot and that he'd asked her out and they'd kissed and-

"You're not even listening are you Merlin?" He hears her sigh on the other end of the phone.

"I'm certain that with more caffeine in my system I would be entirely capable of comprehending what exactly you are saying but not right now. However I did just get woken up by a wonderful friend who then insisted on screaming down the line at me for the next few minutes so I'll get myself some coffee, call you back and you can give me all the gossip on your date with the hunky guy of your dreams and to be quite honest I can see /exactly/ why." He grins at her laughter down the line.

"Good god I think I actually heard the perverted eyebrow wiggle then. Go on then big ears, go get your coffee."

"I resent that nickname. My ears are a perfectly natural size, thank you." He hangs up. Once he's finished his coffee he heads down into the shop as Gaius is out today and he's in charge of looking after the shop. He remembers lessons on the different things in the shop from when he was younger and since he arrived so he's pretty confident he won't accidentally give someone who wanted a headache tablet an aphrodisiac. Fairly confident. He rings Gwen back and listens to her talk about the drive home, 'awh-ing' in all the right places. Once they finish that discussion they move onto chatting about random things and Gwen has to go so he's left alone in the shop.

Almost three hours after he finishes chatting with Gwen, Gaius arrives home and Merlin is taught more about magic and the lesson ends with Merlin successfully making a plant go through every season. To be fair, Gaius was only trying to get him to get it to flower, but once he'd started Merlin didn't think he could stop.

The trend of meeting random people from their little Arthurian legend carried on for quite a while. Merlin became better friends with the lot of them (still keeping the magic thing a huge secret), Gwen and Lance went on a proper date and according to Gwen's shrill voice down the phone at 2 am, it had been the best date in the history of dating, Arthur was gradually becoming less prat-ish and he and Merlin had become very close friends, and whenever Morgana saw them together she'd get a look on her face that said she knew something they didn't. Which was incredibly frustrating but Merlin was getting used to ignoring it.

This all went well until autumn. It had been a pretty average week and Merlin is sat with Gwen, Morgana and Arthur in Gwen's living room at her flat, hanging upside down off the sofa when his phone goes off. He excuses himself and moves into the kitchen, answering with a grin when he sees the other number as his mother's. Just as he opens his mouth to greet her cheerily, he hears a sob from the other end.

"Mum?" Concern wells in his voice and he hears the voices from the other room silence for a moment.

"Merlin. Merlin, you need to come back to Ealdor."

"Mum, what's wrong? Has something happened?" He doesn't turn around but he can feel three pairs of eyes watching him.

"It's your father."

"What about him?"

"Oh Merlin…"  
"Mum, what's wrong?" Someone moves into the room behind him but he still doesn't turn round, one hand on the counter infront of him for balance.

"He's… He's sick. Really badly. Merlin… They say he's not going to make it."

Merlin makes a choked sound and composes himself long enough to murmur down the phone that he'll be there as soon as he can and hangs up. He turns around, refusing to meet any of their eyes.

"I have to go back to Ealdor."

Gwen takes a step forwards, concern filling her kind features and Merlin feels like collapsing in on himself.

"Merlin, what's happened?"

"It… My dad he's… He's dying." He looks down before finishing the sentence, whispering the last word. He feels a warm arm slide round his waist and then the tears burst out and he's left crying into Arthur's shirt while the girls each have a hand on his back.

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**I may have lied with the sorry bit.**

**No regrets.**

**I'm secretly Satan.**


	4. A New Friend

**Yeah, yeah I know. I'm a horrible person. A) for leaving this as long as I have, gathering dust in my folders and B) for sticking to the actual storyline in the show even though it's not strictly necessary. Sorry 'bout that.**

**This is totally un-beta'd because my usual friend who puts up with my shit and reads through this first is way busy with school work and such the like. So any errors, please feel free to point and laugh at.**

**EDIT 18/02/2013: And of course what I forgot to say first time was OMG THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS HOLY SHIT I ABOUT CRIED AT SOME OF THEM THANK YOU SO MUCH.**

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Merlin arrives at the train station in Armagh, and is met by a close friend of his mother. Her name's Beatrice and she lives just down the road from Hunith and Balinor. He remembers her from his childhood, specifically the time when she came over to bring him chocolate cake when he was ill. He'd loved her for that. She greets him warmly, and assures him that his mother is fine and that she's with his father in the hospital. Her eyes are sad when she looks at him and he tries not to notice. They drive in silence with the radio blurting out fragmented lyrics as it picks up shoddy radio signals.  
Arthur, Gwen and Morgana had all offered to come with him if he wanted them to but he'd preferred to go alone. They'd hugged him goodbye at the train station back in London and he was grateful that they understood. When they reach the hospital, Merlin's chest feels tight but when she asks if he's okay, Merlin smiles at Beatrice from number 22 and assures her he's fine. She begins telling him which room his father's in and lamenting the fact that she can't stay and comfort his mother but she's got such an awful lot of housework and such the like to be doing and Merlin tells her it's fine. He can see as she's driving off though that she doesn't believe it. The receptionist behind the desk gives him a look that blatantly says she doesn't want to be there and wishes he would go away too, but nevertheless he asks her for directions to room 212. She drawls out a list of instructions and goes back to filing her nails as he follows them, coming to a halt outside the room and steeling himself before walking in.  
The room has a horribly clinical smell and leaves a taste in his mouth like he's been swimming. It's quiet other than the low beep of a heart monitor. It's a scene that painfully reminds him of Will and the fact that soon he'll be at yet another funeral and for a moment his legs feel as though they are going to falter. But Merlin takes a step inside the door and almost cries when he sees his father.  
He's asleep but his face is horribly pale. With one look, Merlin knows the most important thing that any doctor could tell him right now. His father is dying and there's nothing he or his magic can do. And that's the worst bit about the entire thing. His mother is sat by the side of the bed, one hand holding Balinor's. Even from this distance, Merlin can see that her knuckles are white and her eyes red. He clears his throat quietly and she looks up at him and stands, arms held out to him. The familiar gesture has him across the room as fast as possible (and technically speaking, faster than physics says should be possible, but who's counting) and into her arms, trying not to cry as she reprimand him on his eating habits, bemoaning the fact that he's far too thin. Merlin simply tells her that he's fine (a lie) and that Gaius is fine (a truth) and that he's met some new friends (he leaves out the part about the royal family for now). Then he asks how Balinor is doing and her face drops and she sighs. Merlin sits in a chair next to hers and she fills him in on his father's condition and the fact that the doctors think he's not going to last the week. He'd had a heart attack and there was concern in the doctors who'd seen him that it wasn't the last, and wasn't the most severe either. Hunith eventually went to get something to eat, leaving Merlin alone with Balinor. After a few seconds of the incessant beeping, Merlin can't take the stillness of it all and, checking the corridor first for nurse and anyone else who might wander in, lights a tiny ball of sparks in the centre of his hand. They dance and throw shadows onto the floor around him. He concentrates and the sparks gather to form a little dragon, flying round the palm of his hand. He is so focussed on the little dragon that when Balinor clears his throat Merlin literally jumps, the dragon giving him a look he imagines to be scornful before dissolving into sparks and then disappearing entirely.  
Balinor gives him a look that manages to be both disapproving, in the way that only parents can manage, and impressed, both factors that when put together make Merlin grin sheepishly as if he's five years old and just fell through the door covered in mud after playing outside with Will. Balinor sighs resignedly, but his smile betrays him.  
"I don't suppose asking you to stay out of trouble is going to actually help?"  
"It's not as if I go looking for trouble!" Merlin protests.  
"No, but you can't deny the fact that you and it seem to be close friends."  
Merlin's smile morphs into that of concern.  
"How are you?"  
Balinor hesitates and then glances at the door before leaning in close to Merlin, muttering conservatively.  
"Honestly lad? I know when people are lying to me and every damn time one of those doctors come in and say they're hopeful about my chances I can feel the deceit rolling off them in waves. At least the bloody druids would've said it to my face that I was a lost cause." The resignation in Balinor's voice makes Merlin's voice freeze solid in is throat, the words he was about to say dying on his tongue as he realises how hopeless the whole thing is. He's not here to visit while his father gets better. He's here to say goodbye and to wait around for the funeral. But that's not what he wants. Balinor takes pity on him and reaches into his bedside table, pulling out a little thing that he hides in the palm of his hand. Merlin's curiosity is immediately perked and he sits forwards, trying to catch a glimpse of the object. Balinor chuckles quietly and places the thing in his hand. Instantly he can tell it's wood and memories of sitting on his father's lap while he carved are fresh in his mind. He examines the carving and a grin creeps onto his face, making itself at home. It's a tiny dragon. It fits in the palm of his hand and the entire thing is covered in immaculate detail.  
"His name's Kilgarrah."  
Merlin glances up from the little dragon, one eyebrow raised.  
"Kilgarrah?"  
Balinor nods and then takes a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh. "Listen. Back in the old days, when magic was a general thing that everyone knew existed, there were dragons. And some people could speak with them and, usually only in extreme circumstances, command them to do things. They were the dragonlords. Now, I know there are no dragons around anymore, but there's still dragonlords. It's passed down from father to son. I'm one. And so are you. Now I know that's not a real dragon really, but, and don't tell your mother this, it's a little bit enchanted."  
Merlin's eyes had widened slowly throughout the progression of the story and now, realising that he resembles a fish, blinked and shut his mouth.  
"Enchanted? In what way exactly?"  
"Remember when you were little and I worked abroad? Well I met up with a bunch of druids once and we got chatting and I showed them my carvings. I'd done that one the day I met them and they were interested in it. Said something about Emrys and the Once and Future King." Merlin's breath catches in his throat for reasons he doesn't quite understand and he has to remind himself to breathe. "They said I should pass it on to Emrys when the time was right. We were chatting again after that and I told them about my family back home. Showed them a picture too. Me, your mother and you, cute as a button grinning in your mother's arms. They pointed to you, muttered 'Emrys' and buggered off. Last I saw of them. Now they said pass it on when the time was right. But to be honest I don't think I've got much time left. So take it."  
Merlin's eyes are watering by this point and he wipes at them, placing the carving with shaking hands onto the table before hugging his father and trying not to cry into his shoulder. They part after a few minutes and Hunith walks in, carrying coffees. Merlin jumps up to help her with them and she thanks him. They spend the next few hours talking and Merlin tells the both of them about Morgana and Gwen and when he tells them about Arthur they exchange a look that almost goes unnoticed that Merlin promises to himself he'll make them explain. All too soon, visiting hours are over and Merlin drives his mum home, makes dinner for her and goes to bed hopeful after placing Kilgarrah on his bedside table. That was the last day Merlin ever saw his father alive. The next day he's woken by his mother bursting into his room sobbing. He immediately knows and sits with her for around an hour, both comforting each other. Hunith goes to the hospital to sort some things out, leaving Merlin alone. For a while he simply sits on the bed, staring at the wall. After a little while he brings his knees to his chest and leans his forehead against them, curling as small as he can possibly be. A ball of blue light hovers beside him as it did when he was younger and he would cry. It bobs around him for a few minutes as if trying to console him and eventually seems to give up and just floats by him, its glow a comfort for the moment. He hears a sound from behind him and whirls round, halting abruptly in confusion as a pair of bright amber eyes blink at him from between grey-green scales. For several moments he just stares and then lets out a hysterical burst of laughter and collapses onto the bed.  
"I'm going crazy," he murmurs to himself and jumps when a voice replies.  
"I assure you, young warlock, you are not crazy. Nor is this a dream."  
Merlin sits up slowly and once again comes face to face with a palm sized dragon regarding him with calm eyes.  
"How do you consider this not crazy? I'm talking to my father's wood carving of a dragon." Merlin's voice falters at the word father and the dragon moves to the edge of the table, wings unfolding from its back.  
"This must seem odd for this version of you. Surrounded by computers and electronics all the time, you refuse to believe what you see with your own eyes if it does not follow your own strict rules of the world. But I can assure you young warlock, I am as real as you."  
Merlin stares at the dragon for a moment and then sighs resignedly, placing a hand over his eyes.  
"Right," he says slowly. "You'd be Kilgarrah then."  
"I am."  
"Mind explaining exactly what's going on here?"  
"There are set destinies for all things. Some are doomed to repeat themselves until the right ending is achieved. Some are fortunate enough to be reborn again and again until their destiny is told the right way. This is my path in the world. As yours is yours."  
Merlin frowns. "So your destiny is to be really cryptic?"  
Kilgarrah laughs, a deep echoing sound. The kind of sound one would associate with mountains and deep caves.  
"You never change young warlock. The very first time we met-"  
"Hold on, the first time? This is the first time."  
"In this lifetime yes. However the druids who cast the enchantment on this wood have done it before. And each time, the artifact has found its way to you, young warlock."  
There was a beat of silence. Then; "_Lifetime_?"  
Kilgarrah laughs again.  
"Yes, lifetime. Have you not already felt it? What you would call deja-vu?"  
Merlin nods slowly, the penny dropping.  
"So me and Arthur, the entire group, it's not just a really weird coincidence?"  
"No. It is not."  
"But I thought Morgana was supposed to be all, you know, evil. And aren't Gwen and Arthur supposed to be together?"  
"Every time the life is lived, it is a different way. However your destinies are almost all the same. Morgana has overcome her destiny and now remains as guide to the rest of you. She is on your side, even though it may not seem it in times to come."  
If Merlin didn't know better he'd say the dragon was smirking.  
"But as for your concerns for Arthur and Guinevere, it was never in their destinies to fall in love. Their destinies are _entwined_ certainly. But no more so than yours and hers, or indeed, yours and his."  
"So what's my destiny?"  
Kilgarrah pauses, and Merlin could swear it's for dramatic effect.  
"No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. You must live and learn. However your destiny is closely linked with that of the young Pendragon. You will have help along the way. People you have already met and people you have yet to meet will guide you throughout your destiny's path."  
"Right. So you're not going to give me a straight answer. Are you cryptic in every lifetime or is that a recent addition?"  
"I believe the very first you from the legends people are so fond of thought the same way as you yourself."  
Merlin laughs quietly and he and the dragon sit in companiable silence, Merlin with his knees beneath his chin. After a while, Merlin speaks up.  
"So my father. Was he there before? In the previous life's I mean."  
"Yes. He was there right at the beginning. As was your mother. And your friend William."  
"What were their destinies?"  
Merlin feels a look which feels not quite pitying but definitely empathetic.  
"It is not my place to know young warlock. However, should it console you, your father died peacefully, as did your friend William in the end."  
Merlin nods and then lapses back into silence.  
His mother comes home a little later and they sit and cry and watch bad television shows together. That night Merlin sleeps with a dragon curled on his bedside table. Their days continue in this trend until the day of Balinor's funeral. Everyone in the village turns up, on account of Balinor being so widely loved and there are a swarm of people offering their condolences and hugging and crying and the whole time, Merlin just stands by the coffin silently. Afterwards there's a little tea room and everyone eats the sodden cucumber sandwiches but Merlin.  
That night Merlin doesn't sleep and Kilgarrah doesn't either, watching him curiously as he cries.  
Weeks after the funeral, Hunith tells him he doesn't have to stay. That he's got friends waiting for him in London and he should go out and talk to people. Merlin protests that she needs him more than they do. She tells him that she'll be fine, she's not old yet, and the village boys said they'd be more than happy to help if she needed it. The next day, Merlin's at the train station again and he hugs his mum goodbye and waves from the window as the train goes.

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**I swear next update will come faster. I'm already a few paragraphs in so I'll probably work out update schedule at some point or designate a friend to force me to write whenever the dreaded phrase "I'll do it later" or; "Just one more level on AC:3 then I'll write." rears it's ugly head.**


	5. The Return

**I'd like to mention that I revoked this chapter because I spotted a major continuity error and felt so embarrassed I died. Luckily the power of a new(ish) laptop that I am currently typing on (insert ridiculously happy face) brought me back to life, and hence, here I am. Bam, old/new chapter. **

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The train station seems endless and preposterously loud as Merlin steps off the train. He glimpses a flash of red and then he's surrounded by arms and chests and as quickly as they'd arrived they were gone, all happening at a speed that made Merlin dizzy. He looks at them, his friends, all looking at him with expressions like they expect him to break down. He wouldn't have before but the sheer concern that they're showing for him makes everything feel ten times worse. As soon as his eyes meet Arthur's concerned ones they begin to well with tears, clouding his vision. Gwen hugs him and he feels the air being squeezed out of him. Over Gwen's shoulder he sees everyone else, all hanging back reluctantly like they don't want to crowd him and he feels grateful. Honestly all he wants this minute is to curl up into a ball and cry until the world's fixed. Sadly that kind of behaviour is frowned upon in train stations, so he wipes his eyes and assures Arthur, Gwen and Morgana that he's completely fine, and then takes deep breaths as they approach Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, Leon and Lance. Gwaine immediately scoops him into a bear hug that feels like it should be coming from Percival with the strength behind it. It makes him feel almost happy as he hugs Gwaine back, squeezing his eyes shut as if shutting out the world can fix it and by focussing entirely on his friend he can convince the parts (the very large parts) of him that insist breaking down in a train station is fine, that just for a little while at least, everything is and will be fine. His friends shepherd him home where after much convincing, they accept that he's fine and leave him, although reluctantly with a silent Gaius who makes him a hot chocolate and goes back to tending the shop. Merlin rushes to his room at the first opportunity and sits, hot chocolate cradled in his hands, silent as Kilgarrah rests on his desk, awake, but quiet for once. He stays like this until the light leaves the windows and Gaius knocks on his door to offer him dinner which they eat in silence. Merlin appreciates that Gaius doesn't ask him about it, but before he goes to bed, Gaius pulls Merlin into a tight, albeit brief hug and tells him if he needs to talk about anything he's more than welcome. Merlin thanks him quietly and then retreats to his room once more, this time layed down on the bed, staring at the walls until he falls asleep on top of the covers.

He wakes the next day and resolves to spend it talking to Gaius, first and foremost about Kilgarrah. A small part of him wonders if Gaius had any no pets rule and if sculptures of dragons that came to life counted as pets really.

He jumps when his phone rings, blasting out the first few lines of 'A Thousand Years' and Merlin scrambles for it.

"Good morning." He says the words with a tone not unlike confusion despite the fact he knows exactly who that ringtone belongs to.

"Merlin, it's one in the afternoon. I'd hardly call that morning." Arthur sighs down the phone at him and Merlin smiles for the first time in days.

"Yeah well, you're a clotpole."

Arthur chuckles. "Merlin, that's not a real word."

"Of course it is. I said it, so there."

There's a pause. When Arthur speaks again he sounds more serious and a touch concerned. "How are you?"

Merlin hesitates before answering. "I'm... Look I'd rather not... Every time I talk about I feel worse and I know bottling it up isn't healthy but I really don't want to because it doesn't feel like it helps at all and-"

"Merlin, Merlin it's alright. If you don't want to talk about it that's fine. But if you ever do, you have my number. I know how you feel right now, my mother died when I was nine so you know..."

There's an awkward silence and Merlin breaks it with, "thank you."

Arthur clears his throat. "Morgana's having another little get together Friday. She's on the phone with Gwen right now and she's only decided it since she's been on the phone with her, so I'm presuming it's something to do with that, so no doubt you'll know soon what it's about, but she wants me to ask if you're coming."

"Uh, sure."

There's a pause and Merlin hears an intake of breath on the other end as if Arthur's about to say something but all that comes out is a hurried "bye" and Merlin can't help but sigh. He begins to dial Morgana's number and gets about 4 figures in before Gwen's caller ID flashes up on his screen. He hits the accept button and raises the phone to his ear; mouth halfway to forming a warm hello when an ear piercing squeal shoots out of the phone. Merlin winces, rubbing at his ear while Kilgarrah glares at him before shielding himself with both wings over his head.

"-andIcan'tbelieveit'sactuallyhappeningIjustthinkh e' -"

"Gwen, Gwen! I have absolutely no idea what you're saying. Slow down."

"I told you at the beginning. Weren't you listening?"

"I know my ears are fairly large and all, but I think only dogs could tell what you were saying."

"Sorry, it's just, I'm so excited!"

Merlin leans back against his wall, curiosity winning him over. "About?"

There's silence on the other end of the phone for a few moments and then, "IaskedLanceomoveinandhesaidyes."

Merlin's jaw drops and he's quiet for long enough that Gwen begins to ask if he's okay but he cuts her off.

"You are coming round right now and we are discussing everything whilst eating ice cream in our pyjamas."

Gwen laughs. "We're not twelve year old girls Merlin."

"Ah, but haven't you ever heard? It's how old you feel that really counts."

Gwen laughs again and promises she'll be round in a few minutes, only hanging up after Merlin has made her promise that she'll wear her pyjamas.

After also making Kilgarrah promise he'll pretend to be asleep so that he doesn't freak Gwen out, Merlin takes a moment to reflect on how good he is at making people promise him they'll do things and takes just enough time thinking about it that when the door goes to signal Gwen's arrival he's contemplating whether it's a branch of his magic or not.

Gwen immediately throws her arms around Merlin's neck the second the door isn't between them and Merlin hugs her back, twirling her round as they hug. She lets him go and peers concernedly at him.

"Are you sure you're alright? You look tired. Gaius told me downstairs that you barely came out of your room."

"Didn't sleep well. I'll be fine though, and we're not here to discuss my sleeping habits." He takes her hand and pulls her over to the sofa, gesturing to the ice cream set up and the film in the DVD player. Gwen squints at the title screen for half a second and then squeals, pulling him into yet another bone crushing hug.

Merlin chuckles, gently removing her arms from round his neck. "I take it you're okay with us watching The Princess Bride?"

Gwen tugs him down onto the sofa with a large smile on her face rather than reply.

After a little over an hour later, as the credits are rolling and the ice cream, sits melted and forgotten, Gwen turns to Merlin with a large smile on her face and starts speaking.

"Okay, so you know how we've been dating for a little while, well we were out on a date and I just casually mentioned that my last roomate moved out a while ago and I should probably start looking for a roomate to share with to ease the rent, and he mentioned that his flat was a bit too small and that he'd been planning on moving out and I asked him if he wanted to move in and then he looked all shocked and insisted that he wasn't trying to drop hints or anything and I told him it was fine, so he's moving in next week."

He hugs Gwen and she squeals when he begins tickling her and they spend the rest of the afternoon chatting on the sofa until Gwen has to leave. Merlin hugs her goodbye and spends a few hours cleaning up before Gaius comes back upstairs. They cook together and after they've done eating Merlin retreats to his room.

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**If you saw the continuity error, for the love of god, forget it please I feel like a complete idiot. Moral of the story, after coming back to writing after around a month, READ YOUR OLD CHAPTERS HOLY CHRIST.**


	6. Balconies and Butterflies

**I have sorted everything oh thank god, I am still feeling the need to curl up and never touch a keyboard again that's what kind of error it was oh god. The point is, I am going to start working on chapter seven literally the second I finish uploading this chapter and then we can all forget about this horrible fiasco. Please.**

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Friday rolls around with the days passing by in much the same fashion continuously and on the day itself, Merlin wakes earlier than normal to the sound of a text. He rubs his eyes blearily and reaches for his phone. He scans a quick text from Morgana reminding him in all-caps about the party and rolls on to his back, staring at the ceiling for a while. He honestly doesn't feel like getting up but eventually he does and helps out in the shop for most of the day before around 4 in the afternoon, at which point he changes hurriedly and takes Gaius' old car that starts up with a whine and takes three minutes every time. He putters into the car park outside of Morgana's block of flats five minutes late which he doesn't consider to be too bad and he makes it up there in time for Morgana to be pouring a round of champagne with Arthur beside her, chatting quietly. As Merlin approaches them, their discussion sounds more heated and when he reaches them, Arthur storms away, looking incredibly frustrated. Morgana sighs and downs a glass of champagne, then turns, catching sight of him for the first time. She immediately perks up and pulls him into a tight hug that definitely, definitely feels like it should be breaking at least one of his ribs. But she lets him go before he's injured too much and steps back, peering at his face.

"Gwen tells me you haven't been sleeping well."

Merlin rolls his eyes. "I'm fine. Trust me. I just need a while."

Morgana nods in understanding and Merlin hurriedly switches topic before she can ask him any more questions.

"What was up with you and Arthur?"

Morgana droops, sighing heavily.

"It's just a sibling quarrel. Nothing to worry about, we'll be right as rain tomorrow."

Merlin nods as he has a glass of champagne shoved into his hand. Morgana saunters off with a sizeable glass of wine that Merlin could have sworn wasn't there a second ago. He spends a while with Gwen and Lance, excusing himself just as they start being all cutesy and talks to Gwaine until the other man becomes unintelligible with all that he's drank and Merlin himself feels a little unsteady on his feet.

Arthur hasn't reappeared the entire party and Merlin decides to go look for him. When Merlin finds him, it's not inside the flat, but rather on the balcony outside of Morgana's room. He's looking a little tipsy himself and Merlin thuds, a lot less than gracefully, into the balcony guard rail. Arthur sighs next to him and a hand reaches out to steady him, fingertips brushing against his lower back. They remain long after Merlin has gained a solid grip on the railing and Merlin leans into it, head colliding softly with Arthur's shoulder He feels the hand slip from his back to around his waist and the tingles like electricity that ensue as Arthur's fingertips continue circling lazily. They stand silent for a few minutes, then, just as Merlin's eyes begin to drift shut, Arthur speaks.

"I missed you."

Merlin blinks slowly.

"You what?"

"When you were in Ealdor. It wasn't the same without you calling me some stupid made-up word every few minutes."

Merlin giggles quietly.

"Clotpole." Then, quieter. "Missed you too."

Arthur's grip on his waist tightens slightly and Merlin sighs, nuzzling backwards into Arthur's shoulder. For warmth, of course. It's quiet for a few more minutes and then Merlin decides to break the silence.

"You said. If I needed to talk, I could call you."

"That offer's still open. It helps, I know."

Merlin pauses for a moment, takes a breath.

"When I was little, my dad went off to America for his work. I was about seven; I didn't really understand why he was leaving. I cried and begged him not to go," Merlin turns round, looking Arthur in the eye, "and he said to me 'Don't worry. Whenever I leave, I'll always be back, I promise.' He came back on my eighth birthday. He was all upset that he hadn't had time to buy me a gift and I hugged him, told him that coming back was the best present he could have given me." Merlin's voice cracks towards the end and Arthur's about to pull him into a hug, but Merlin shakes his head.

"I just... It feels like I'm still waiting for him to come back." He feels the damp on his face before he realises he's been crying and he shivers as the night air mingles with the damp. Arthur notices and slips off his coat. Merlin feels it being draped across his shoulder and dips his head to push further into the warmth, but as he does so, Arthur's lips catch his own. He stands frozen for a moment and the feeling of Arthur beginning to pull away spurs him into action, arms flinging clumsily around the back of Arthur's neck. It's not the best kiss either of them has ever had on account of it being drunk and slightly wet due to Merlin's tears, but Merlin can feel his entire body tingling.

As they break apart, Merlin's lungs are burning and he sees butterflies. Not any normal kind of butterflies mind you. Bright blue butterflies which anyone with a basic knowledge of lepidopterology can see, they are most certainly not real. He knows straight away when he sees them what they are, but he can't take his eyes off them. Arthur frowns in front of him and twists, trying to see what Merlin does. His eyes widen as he catches sight of the butterflies and then they're gone, already specks in the night sky.

They stand for a moment, Arthur in shock and Merlin in fear, but when Arthur turns back round, there's no look of hate, only mild confusion.

"They didn't look like any butterflies I've ever seen."

"Guess they're a rare species." Merlin holds his breath for a few seconds after, but Arthur seems placated by this and shrugs, leaning down again to recapture Merlin's mouth.

After a short while, Arthur has to breathe again and they lean against the railing, side by side, watching the stars.

"I was about five and one of my closest friends had gone abroad on holiday." Arthur's voice was so quiet that Merlin had to lean close enough that he could feel the breath coming from Arthur's mouth as he spoke. "I didn't like that he was leaving, but my mum took me outside when it was dark and pointed up to the sky. She said 'Whenever you're missing someone, look up. Chances are they're looking at the exact same sky as you are."

Merlin doesn't look up at him, but after a moment he reaches out slightly and takes Arthur's hand into his own.

"I suppose we've just got to accept that they're not coming back."

"Mmm. Still, we've got each other, right?"

Merlin grins at him, smiling from ear to ear. After a while, Merlin speaks up again.

"You were right."

Arthur snorts. "Say that again, that's rare."

Merlin elbows him lightly in the side and Arthur pretends to look hurt.

"Talking about it. It does help."

"See? I'm not always wrong."

"Ah, then you concede that you are wrong sometimes?"

"Yes, sometimes."

"Some might say, with alarmingly regular occurrence?"

Arthur glares at him, obviously trying not to smile.

"Don't push it."

The last thing Merlin remembers of that night is him and Arthur out on the balcony toasting each other with glasses of wine Merlin snuck back in to retrieve.

When he wakes up in the morning, it's on a sofa that is most definitely not his own and with a leather jacket wrapped around him that is also definitely not his. The second he opens his eyes, he's met with bright sunlight that makes him flinch immediately and bury his head into the jacket. He opens his eyes slowly and once he feels he's adjusted enough, he looks up again. The sun is still harsh, but it doesn't sting his eyes anymore so he figures he's alright to stand. As he does, the jacket almost slips from his shoulders before he catches it and surveys the room. He recognises it immediately as Gwen's living room and frowns. There's a whistling coming from the kitchen that, (in Merlin's opinion) is way, way too upbeat for this time in the morning. He checks, to make sure it is morning, and then wanders into the kitchen. Upon putting a single foot across the threshold, he's assaulted by the smell of coffee and he makes a small noise. Gwen's laughter replaces the whistling and he feels a warm mug being pushed into his hands. He practically swallows it in one, resulting in a very overly-hot tongue but he can't bring himself to care too much. The coffee bring clarity and along with it, the memory of (a) who the jacket belongs to and (b) oh my god the circumstances that led it to be there. His eyes widen and Gwen looks at him with concern.

"Are you alright? Did you burn your tongue?"

Merlin nods, then shakes his head quickly.

"Not that. Oh no."

Gwen guides him back to the sofa and sets her hands on his shoulders.

"What's wrong then?"

"I uh... I sorta maybe..."

"Spit it out."

"I kissed him."

Gwen's frown deepens for a moment, and then a look of complete understanding and shock comes over her features.

"You don't mean...?"

"Yep."

"You kissed Arthur?!"

"Yeah sorta, maybe, I don't know, definitely, yes."

Gwen gawps at him for a few minutes and then throws her arms around him, squealing.

"You are possibly the luckiest guy alive. And it makes so much sense too!"

Merlin raises an eyebrow at her.

"You're Arthur and Merlin. I always thought those two seemed a little close in the legends." Gwen wiggles her eyebrows and Merlin laughs.

"Gwen! In the legends Merlin's old."

"Yeah, but maybe he just cast a spell to make himself that way. People wouldn't have taken him seriously if he was the same age as Arthur."

Merlin rolls his eyes at her and she fake-pouts.

"So. I'm guessing neither of you have mentioned this to Morgana yet?"

Merlin shakes his head. "I have the feeling that if I did, he'd never forgive me."

Gwen nods. "That's probably about right."

Merlin sighs and leans back into Gwen's sofa, fingers playing at the leather on the very edge of Arthur's jacket. Gwen peers at it.

"You were not wearing that last night," her grin broadens. "In fact, I'm almost certain that a certain _Prince_ was wearing a jacket exactly like that."

Merlin can feel his face going red despite strict orders not to and as Gwen's smile widens further, he curses the fact that his body seems to enjoy throwing him under the bus.

"So why do you have it? Is it a souvenir? Are you supposed to call him and tell him you have it and then arrange a date when he comes to pick it up?"

"No, Gwen. I was just cold and he gave me his jacket."

Gwen awhs. "So he was being a gentleman!"

Merlin nods slightly, blush increasing as he makes a small noise in confirmation.

Gwen hugs him again and then goes off to shower, and Merlin curls up on her sofa, nuzzling into the jacket, trying to catch the smell that's just so _Arthur_.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out, smiling as he sees the sender ID. He hears the shower stop as he opens the text and a few moments later, Gwen walks in, hair dripping but thankfully fully clothed. Merlin doesn't react much though because he's still staring at his phone with a look that mingles shock and worry and Gwen flops next to him immediately.

"What's wrong? Merlin?"

Merlin bites his lip and hands the phone over. Gwen scans the message and falters, frowning.

"'We need to talk?' Oh that's rarely ever good." Gwen looks up at him, arms wrapped tightly around his knees. "Oh sweetie." She curls her arms around him and both sit for a while afterwards, Merlin wondering how in the space of the time he's moved here, everything could have gone so horribly wrong so quickly.

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**Oh and by the way, this fanfic is now also on AO3 because I managed to retrieve the email address I used and now have an account there. It's under the exact same name with the exact same summary and everything, so if you prefer to read fanfics on AO3, it'll be updated at the same time as this one.**


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